ME2DAY
|
|
My very last performance in Loyang tomorrow. The last one of my secondary school life. Will I cry? Maybe. I'm extremely excited and I should be sleeping soon, but I feel like doing my art. Nah. Maybe tomorrow. SEE! So complacent. Anyway, today we were watching Bolt. So I told Goo, that Sho looked like Bolt. I meant it in a positive way. You know her reply? 'Then you go tell him he look like a dog lah.' FREAKING FUNNY CAN! P.S I have a VERY bad habit of fantasizing. Don't ask me who. GOD!
|
|
|
Art, art, art. Everyday. Making me sick of it, I tell you. So, I haven't really decided on the songs. Oh god. It's this saturday, and I'm not exactly prepared. Oh goooooood. I'm starting to feel the same feeling I felt during the auditions, only this time's a hundred times worst. Imagine all the people who might be there. Michelle, RahimJaylene, DannyEmily, and others. Oh god, oh my god. P.S I got a date for COL Night! Lovely.
|
|
|
O levels are exhausting. I wish I don't need to take coursework, so that I can start doing some real work instead of staring at a blank paper with nothing except the impending deadline in mind. Very exhausted. Read Mum's blog, and it was an eye popper. You see, I have this weird habit. Whenever I read things, my mind imagines the scenes and play them out in my head like a movie. So yeah, it was incredibly weird and.. just weird. OMG! Dad, you better marry Mum uh! I want a younger sister =D
|
|
|
Why must I find out that I can wear nice clothes to COL only after missing the Flea? Great. Pfth.
|
|
|
Yesterday the chair I sat on collapsed in the middle of class during lesson, cos some fucker removed the screws from the chair. It was damn embarrassing kay. I totally had no reaction. Cos I saw that no one was like, laughing or anything, so I figured it would be better to just keep a straight face and keep quiet. And yeah, it worked. No one laughed, cos apparently my straight face looked extremely cold and scary, so no one dared to laugh. Haha. Thank god Furqaan, Sho and Aaron weren't there. Or they would remind me of it for an entire year, ugh.
|
|
|
The results I collected today were equally bad, if not worse. Nope, don't want to talk about it yet. Sigh. Today, I felt hurt. Why did I do it in the first place when it wasn't mine to do? Cause I don't want to lose you. I'm just.. either over reacting, or hurt by the way you handled this. It's like laughing at the girl who's giving you a blowjob for the first time. Or laughing at her when she finally finds the courage to do a striptease for you for the first time.Okay maybe that wasn't the best examples. But still, the feeling sucked. Feels miserable and pathetic, haha. Okay anyway, I'm guessing that I'm failing 3 subjects. Or more. Definitely maths. I'm doomed, I can't get into any poly if I fail maths. Dear god, save me. Just now: Me: Mummy.. I don't want to go school tomorrow. Mum: Why..? Me: *Babbles on* Mum: Okay lor.. Me: HUH? *jaw drops* Just like that..? Mum: Nevermind what, you don't go school your results still there mah. So don't go also can.. Up to you. Oh no. No no no no no mummy, you shouldn't be thinking like that. Or you're really going to kill me when you see my report book next Friday. Oh god, I'm so sorry! This thinking is wrong, mummy. Please don't think this way, OMG!
|
|
|
Today was 'Collect Your Results And Cry Day'. Results were bad. Okay, not all of them were bad but some are bad enough to stun me. I really wasn't expecting to get that low for History. My major weakness in History was in the source based questions, and damn, I did really bad for that. I don't know if its the content of my answer or the structure of my answer, but either way, I only got 1 mark for most of the SBQ. The worst hit today definitely came from History. Like many others, I cried after recieving the papers. I used to get A1s for History, what happened to me? I know that its all due to my playfulness. I should have traded in those fun hours for reading up instead, especially when it so content based like History! But honestly, the pain and tears didn't really come from the crappy marks I got. It came from the fact that I had disappointed Mr. Mohd. He gave me the best few weeks of my life and brought me to Japan, and this is how I repay him? Before we recieved our papers, I was telling Carel that out of all the teachers, Mr Mohd is one teacher I would never ever want to let down. I would study History even if I throw away all my other books in fustration. It's just.. I don't want to disappoint Mr Mohd. I don't want to sit down and know that my results, my actions, have let him down. He had tried for us, but have I? I don't know why I feel this only towards him. Maybe its all his hard work during lessons. Or the Japan trip. But either way, I'm not going to let him down anymore. I have to start bucking up. Unnie was right. She was damn spot on; Mid Years are the trigger factors for us to CHIONG. P.S I know they don't notice it, but I really appreciate you guys trying to cheer me up during Biology. THANKS AH, SHO AND AARON! I'll push Aaron off the ledge and jump down myself if my Os are as crappy as this.
|
|
|
I'm going to relax for the weekends. No more books, foolscap, highlighters, pens, notes. JUST FUN. The facial yesterday started out damn nice. I mean, it was my first time, so everything felt awesome. UNTIL SHE STARTED DETOXIFYING/EXFOLIATING MY FACE. I swear, it hurt like hell. I couldn't see anything, but she took something sharp and started poking my face to get rid of the oil or something. She just kept penetrating my face with this VERY PAINFUL AND SHARP needle or something. My whole face. I swear, the pain I felt then was like NOTHING I've EVER felt before. It's more painful than bursting a pimple. Or spraining an ankle. Or getting burned by Sho and Furqaan. Hell, I'd bet it was even more painful than having sex for the first time. The pain was indescribable. Just as I thought it couldn't get any more painful, it did. The pain surpassed the highest level of pain I've thought possible. And it was on my face too, damn it. Imagine stabbing your face repeatedly with a needle. Pushing the needle through the tiny bumps of oil on your face till the oil comes out. It took me everything I had to not scream. And I'm proud to say that I was brave enough to not only not scream, but to not cry as well. Everytime she pressed the needle and started digging/squeezing the bad stuffs outta my face, I would lock my muscles down and grind my teeth and squeezed my fingers to prepare myself for the pain. TO ENDURE IT. My whole face. You know what I was telling myself mentally to help endure the pain? 'Pretend you're going through the painful transformation to become a vampire. Pretend it's Edward's vemon in you.' 'Beauty is pain, even if it's going to kill you. So deal with it.''All korean singers who are pretty go through this, so you should start enduring it now.' 'Do it for Jaejoong. You want awesome skin like him right? This is what he does!''It's going to be over soon. Just the other 1/2 of your face left. And the nose.' 'Why don't you try embracing the pain?''See, who ask you always wear makeup.' Okay. So I ended up with really obvious, bad red dots on my face. Something I didn't notice till everyone looked at me in the MRT. Sigh. I actually wanted to type a lot more but I'm lazy. And I'm having a fever, and I'm sleepy again. P.S I dreamt alot last night. I dreamt that my first boyfriend was a very charming Malay guy. And when he reached out for my hand on the escalator and pressed me against him, I didn't believe I could love him more than I had. BUT DAMN, I know him. In real life. But I can't recall his face! Okay or maybe I haven't met him yet. I'm trying to go through all the malay guys I know that might fit the description of my boyfriend in the dream, but no one fits it. I guess I haven't met him yet. I'm pretty sure that the short excerpt from my dream is going to happen though, cos most of the time my dreams end up as deja vus in reality. So... I CAN'T WAIT! OH and another thing I remember about the dream is that when he reached for my hands and held it, I remember thinking, 'Wow, my first boyfriend's a malay. Like Jaylene, I have a malay boyfriend too!' P.S.S Tomorrow is JAPANESE FOOD DAY WITH MY LOVELY GIRLS <3
|
|
|
Yes, its finally going to end. I can't believe it. The first thing I'm going to do tomorrow after the last damn paper is to have a facial. Courtesy of my agency, and after that it will be off to an awesome class of dance with my new Mum and Dad, and then I will be crashing in at a friend's party. And then on Saturday I might be going to watch this dance compeition. I was so damn tired I fell asleep in the afternoon and woke up at 9. I'm going to go bathe after this and start studying for tomorrow's last paper. Hey, every mark counts, right? Walao. I tell you, God hates me. Normally when I go see my doctor at Hougang, I would be dressed nicely, make up and all. But today, as I was rushing like mad, I just changed into some ugly tee and I didn't even touch up on the make up I wore in the morning. And you know what? THERE. WAS. A. VERY. CUTE. GUY. THERE. SHIT MAN! First it was the technician. Then today, him. Why don't I EVER see any of them when I'm in my best... look? It's just so bloody wicked that I only bump into these kind of guys when I look like crap. Fine. Play with me, God. Sighhhhhh.
|
|
|
I only have 3 mins to blog. Then its back to hardcore studying for History tomorrow. I haven't even touched on Maths yet.Okay maybe I'll blog tomorrow instead. AHHHH!
|
|
|
Firstly, it started off with Mayo. I've always chosen mayo over cheese as my topping for garlic bread since JANUARY, not just because it is cheaper. I THOUGHT IT WAS LESS FATTENING/HEALTHIER. Secondly, I've been an obsessed fan of Pokka Green Tea and I've been drinking that for a YEAR. I THOUGHT IT COULD HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT COS PEOPLE SAID GREEN TEA HELPS. I realised that cheese was actually a healthier, less fattening choice than mayo. And Carel told me that drinking POKKA GREEN TEA won't help AT ALL; the natural, hot, tasteless green tea's the real deal. OH GODDDDD. I hereby declare that I will swear off sweet, UNESSECCARY calories boosting stuffs like BUBBLE TEA, CHOCOLATE and SWEETS. I totally flunked my Bio practical today. I NEVER expected food tests to come out, and to think I stupidly studied plants instead. I mean it man, I really totally flunked it. I'm so sorry Ms. Ruth. I promise to work harder, much much harder. Today Lijie, Furqaan, Aaron came over to my house to do Art. Lijie gave me a heart stopping suprise earlier on, and I swear that if he hadn't spotted me first, I would have ran back up. I gotta finish my art. 50% left to go. I wonder if Aaron would meet me tomorrow morning to help me with it.
|
|
|
I'm totally CHIONGING for my studies now. Never have I felt so exhausted from studying. Okay, maybe there was once last year. For the past 48 hours, I've been so caught up in History, Art, and soon to come Maths. The next four days of exams seems like 4 years to me. By the time class rolls around on Friday I would be dead by then. Anyway, I gotta go off soon. Have TONS of works waiting for me. Heck, I don't even have time to call anyone to chat, or to go facebook to play spot the difference, or to slack anymore. WORK, WORK, WORK! I read Wanling's blog. And I left her 3 longs tags, afterwhich I realised I should have just blogged it all out instead. Anyway, I hope Ma and Pa don't give up on each other. I really think that the common perspective of a malay from a chinese viewpoint is the problem, and I feel that whoever in Jaylene's family who's against of this relationship should meet Rahim first. There's nothing wrong with chinese and malay being together, isn't it? Especially Rahim. Sigh. Love is complicating, painful, and tiring. But Love is also full of happiness, contentment, and satisfaction as well. Don't give up.
|
|
|
Today's dance class was soooo awesome! It was really great, full of laughter and jokes. And Jaylene was there too! It's nice to be able to finally meet her. Jaylene ah, you're so skinny! Then there was this new guy. Heard he liked Selena too. Haha what's with all the love at first sight mannn. He seems like an awesome and humorous guy. Selena and I are gonna start practicing our songs soon! I'm very excited to hear her voice since everyone, esp TERIZA, has been praising her for it. Teriza was so funny today. She didn't know I was competing against Selena for Battle, and she was telling me how awesome Selena's voice is. I just nodded numbly as she went on praising Selena. Then when she found out about her blooper, her expression was damn funny, a mixture between shock and something else. And today I've gotten new parents, RAHIM AND JAYLENE! Haha it started off with some joke about parents and tags and Rahim. I told Rahim that it felt weird for me to see his ultra sweet and mushy tags at Jaylene's blog; it was like seeing your own parents kiss. And he retorted 'So I'm your father and Jaylene's your mother lah' But my new Dad's kinda obscene uh, right Mum? HAHAHAHA Walao and on the first hour of being his new daughter, Dad has already embarrassed me. Okay I don't know what happened luh, but apparently I was having some funny facial expression or something and Rahim saw and LOLed. Well at first I thought he was laughing at Yanjun, but then he stopped the music and said my name while laughing. Yeah, today was great. Awesome. Really really fun lesson =D Brother was a total ass today. The worst is not getting the worst end of his character, but seeing it fucking develop and knowing it could have been stopped. Knowing that I was damn right to warn my parents about it and seeing it come true.
|
|
|
Carel ah~~ Why today never come school? Today was... good, I guess. Thanks to the rain and a few wonderful people. I think he looks exceptionally cute today. I almost decided not to go to school today.. But heck, if walking around in school and all that would burn me a few extra calories, then why not? Besides, I was already changed into my uniform. Then, came back from school and declared today as 'Relax Day'. Which means, no studying, no working, no headaching today. TODAY I'M GONNA RELAC ONE CORNER ^^ I watched Peter Pan just now <3 I guess I have more or less selected my songs for Garage Battle. At least this gives me time to practice; the last time with the audition was soooooo last minute, on the morning of the day itself I haven't even decided on the song. And I changed my song last minute over there too. This time, one of the song I chose is more or less confirmed, and what's left for THAT song is probably looking for a better instrumental version if nessecary. So I've got one more song to choose.. I'm thinking about it, I've been trying some songs out, but they either don't really fit my vocal range or the criteria. Ugh. For the other song I've yet to select, it's a battle between Thinking of You, Everlasting, or Why.I'm going to need either Goo or Teriza or someone to help me with this.
|
|
|
YESSS THE PURE JOY OF FREEDOM. Of course, the exams aren't over yet, but it is over for the time being. The feeling of having a day away from stress is so.... joyful. The week was hard, but I made it. Today's paper was good, not particulary hard or easy. There'll be more to come next week. Bye. Got to go training already. P.S Furqaan....
|
|
|
Literature rocked. I'm supposed to continue studying now but I just wanna blog for awhile. I promise to be off at 9 sharp. Today this techichian guy came over to fix our TV and internet. At first, my mum came to my room with this girly and weird look on her face and she told me to go down. I declined cos I was reading a book... but went down anyway after awhile. I didn't even bathe at all; I just changed out of my uni into a very unglam shirt and shorts. My hair was so unruly and my face was almost makeup less. And I went down, expecting to see some apek there. Oh damn, I saw this cute, hot guy instead. Shit. Before I even had chance to run upstairs to get makeover-ed, he turned and saw me. And smiled, acknoledging me. So I bo pian, I just went down and sat at the sofa. SHIT MAN! No wonder my mother asked me to go down! Of course at the sofa, I was stealing glances at him. Ahh... He was good looking. Had a good body, meaning not too much and not too little. AND he was uh, not hairy. I LIKEEEE. Everything about him was a plus. Except maybe the hair. He had short hair, which suited him fine but it could have been better. So after awhile, I couldn't take it anymore and just went upstairs to change. And went back down again. I tell you, his FASHION SENSE, BODY, FACE AND HAIR was SOOOOO Micky. As in, not your 25 year old Micky ah Teriza, I'm talking about the hot, young idol with the Audi. He was so fair too! Reminded me of a vampire at first glance. His name.. is Brandon. Nice? Okay lah. You know what my Mum told me after he left? 'So cute right! Walao just now see you walk down the stairs like some zha bor with your hair like that make me want to laugh HAHA. Never expect he will be so cute right? I told you to come down already mah.. Don't want to listen. HAHA just now I saw your face when you see him.. Your face stunned ah!'Hahaha I have the loveliest Mum in the world.
|
|
|
Walao. Today almost killed me. Social studies paper was fine. Physics was like shit, I swear. I'm prepared to get a single digit number for my physics result. Today was quite funny in the morning. Lijie gave me a shock when she suddenly sms me to say that she's outside my door. DAMN FREAKY CAN, I WAS JUST THINKING OF THAT POSSIBILITY LIKE, 10 SECONDS BEFORE LIJIE'S SMS CAME o.o I think I can tell the future. Haha anyway. I don't freaking know what to sing for the semi finals! I don't know and I need to prepare 2 songs!! I WANT THE TWO TICKETS TO KOREA PLEASE. Okay start researching on songs. After doing revision on Maths, Literature and Biology. OH and god damn Art. Main priority now is to go and shit. BYE!
|
|
|
Selena and I both got into the semi finals round of Garage Battle! OMG I'm soooo excited!I just recieved the call just now ^^ I still remember how nervous I was on that day of the auditions.. The most nerve wrecking day of my life. Thanks Carel for your encouragement on that day! This time, I gotta prepare 2 songs. Preferably in chinese or english. The semi finals include the top 16, and on that day we're gonna be paired up as competitors. Thus, there would be 8 pairs of singers and from the 8 pairs, 8 people is going to be chosen for the final round. Which is on that day itself, thats why 2 prepared songs is needed. Haha I was just thinking of the probabilty of Selena and I getting paired together as competitors. Sekali Jae and Rahim sabo us.. As for the songs, I was thinking of doing Why and Thinking of You. The semi finals are on 30 May.. so yeah, there's still time to think about this. I still can't believe I got into the top 16. I thought I did pretty badly on that day.. I didn't even get to finish! And out of so many people who auditioned... I would like to thank my Reverandoms, my unnie, Teriza, Edward, and my family. Though no one in the family knows about this. Both Selena and I badly wants to win this; the prize is two tix to Korea. I doubt I can win tho. I heard Selena has a brilliant voice... Anyone has song suggestions for me?
|
|
|
Dad and I argued last night, over Oliver. He then stormed out of the house. 'DO YOU WANT THE WHOLE DAMN BLOCK TO HEAR THIS?!' You're the one shouting for the block to hear. Not me. 'CAN YOU JUST DO IT FOR ME? FOR ME CAN? JUST GIVE IN TO HIM FOR THE LAST TIME!' Of course I can do anything for you, you're my father. But what you're asking me to do is not good for him. It's only going to make him more arrogant and rebellious. I've told you this in the past, and what I said came true. And now I'm telling you again. Won't you believe that he's only going to get worse if you continue encouraging him? You wanted my help. I'm more than willing to help, to do things what you and Mum should be doing instead. I love him too. But have you ever supported what I do? I don't have the authority, and that is fine with me cos I'm only a damn sister. Not his mother, not his father. But you guys don't even support me in the least of ways. And yet you keep asking me to advise him, to talk some sense into him. I can do it, this can work, but not without the parents backing me up. What's the point of me trying then? It's futile. I keep trying, I keep enduring the way he speaks to Mum, I keep trying to think of ways to help him, BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. Because you guys are not helping. Most of the time, you are even encouraging his actions unknowingly. You don't get to see the effects at home, but I do. Mum do. You keep telling me to talk some sense into him. But I'm telling you, he's not listening to what I say. He doesn't care, cos I'm not his mother or father. I'm no one to him, just a sister, and to him, I have no right to scold him, lecture him, beat him. And how can I help him if you are not even backing me up? I can tell him that I'm scolding him cos you gave me the power to, but at the end of the day, have you ever proven that in front of him? No. How the fuck am I going to help him then? How the fuck am I going to talk some sense into him? If nobody is going to back me up, no matter what I do, nothing will come out of it. I've tried, countless times, and I'm telling you, this is how it is. It's not going to work. I can't pull a one man show here. I've fucking tried to tell you this alot of times, but have you listened? Even taken what I've said seriously? If you did, things won't end up like this. I'm done trying.
|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | 
