I can't sleep. And I'm so screwed cos I have dance training first thing tomorrow morning.



But I can't help but to worry. I can't help but to feel dumb, sad, and regretful. I feel bad and useless. Incredibly retarded. SIGH. The only thing left to do now is to apologise to her. After that, everything will end. Everything will end and lives will continue as if we never knew each other. It would probably take months for me to recover from this.. But well, it's gonna teach me to be a better person. The more experiences, the lesser you'll make that same mistake. At my age, this mistake will only lose me my friends, but 10 years down the road, it might make me lose my job, my lover or even my family. So.. Its good to learn from that now.



Right now, after this whole thing has ended, I'm going to focus all my energy on Hirouka and the audition. That's it. Instead of living in the past after tomorrow, I need to move forward with life.



Whatever it is.. Fighting!




Will I face the same prejudice and discrimination I faced 2 years ago?
That's what I'm most worried about.
Once, I was so hyped up for the concert. For the period of time there with them.
But now, thinking about what might happen there, I'm dreading it.
Dreading the concert.. Dreading to meet them.. Dreading to hear what they might say of me..
Sigh.
I need to move on. I can't keep living in the past. It won't do me any good.
I'm sad, but for what? No one else is, so just move on already.
But I don't want to give up.. Cos they're such great people.
They're such great, inspirational people to me.
And they're awesome friends.
But I.. Sigh. Since I didn't treasure them, I've got what I deserved.
So, move on with life already.
Nothings gonna change if I continue living in the past.
Nothings gonna change no matter what I do.
If they've already forgotten, I should too.