I'm fucking pissed with Razi.



I was just now.



Now I'm just crushed by his attitude, his words, and his excuses.





It's already 4.40 am. I haven't eaten or slept. I don't think I can wake up in time to meet Nizham to run tomorrow. And I freaking ate PORRIDGE just now before the god damn 4km jog.




At least I told Nizham I cannot confirm I will wake up early to jog. At least I made it clear and he said okay too.



I don't think I will ever talk to Razi again. At this point of time, I don't want to see his face or smell his perfume. I read through our long ass msn conversation 4 times, and everytime I asked something, he avoids it and give me some other shit.



Like I'll ask him if he knows what he did wrong. And he'll reply things like 'you're somebody I don't know' and shit like that.



Its like telling someone that he has poo on his shirt and he goes like 'I am nobody' 'You're making things worse'.



I don't get what he's thinking. Not even what he's saying.



I don't care about the secret. You insist that the you were doing something that has got to do with the secret, thats why you couldnt contact us.


The secret is so damn big, important and very personal.


Yet, you can still play soccer, eat and answer your home call. When you couldn't even sms us a single thing. When we were worried sick, waiting for you under your block.



Very funny.





I'm so fucking pissed and HURT, I can just strangle my cat now.


You know what, I'm just going to channel all this strong energy and thoughts into my audition preparation. If you see me starving my ass off like no one's business and losing 10 kg by 30 Oct(which I'll be happy to^^), you know what happened.


I was angry, followed by shocked, hurt, and finally, disappointed.



I give up.